13. How to cultivate an Essence quality from inside out

Hi Honey Sweet Bud! Aunt JD on loose with some truth about authenticity. Giggle. I’m realizing we need to explore how to cultivate your Essence qualities from within so they are easily available for you to engage from in your daily life. Your Essence qualities are your most valuable assets my friend. They are how you can feel capable in unknowns and powerful when someone is trying to take your power away. They are always inside of you Bud, your fears just separate you from them when you need them the most. Let’s get to the question of the day so we can get right into exploring how to ignite certain Essence qualities in you that weren’t Validated for you growing up.

Today’s Question:

How do I activate certain Essence qualities that I can tell I want to experience more but wasn’t taught how?

There’s more than 350 Essence qualities inside of you. Some of them are warm and fuzzy. Some of them are productive and efficient. And, some of them are spiritually meaningful. All of them are transformers. Meaning, when you bring them up through you they have instant impact to change what’s happening in you and around you. When you’re connected to your Essence qualities inside life feels engaging, helpful, safe, and exciting. When you are disconnected from your Essence qualities life feels dangerous, menacing, and incomprehensibly meaningless. 

Powerlessness Fear is the only thing that knocks us out of our Essence quality both/and thinking into our threatened either/or thinking. This gives us the clue about how to cultivate our Essence qualities. We can transform our fears and the defensive strategies they activate into Essence qualities because the defensive strategies are just trying to mimic the Essence qualities anyway.

For example, take a defensive strategy like controlling. We try to control things and people so our insides don’t feel all jumbled and dysregualted. In other words we try to control externally so we feel settled internally. Settled is the Essence quality and Controlling is the defensive strategy. Both are trying to achieve the same thing. A regulated and relaxed inside world.  

Since these are automated reactions in us, meaning they erupt from our Unconscious Procedural Manual and start running our show instead of our Essence, we need to transform these beliefs and defensives strategies at the foundation: The Unconscious Procedural Manual. We can rewire our procedures in our Procedural Manuals by speaking Validations and Simple Truths to our insides, so our insides can have a different experience than the one from our childhood.

So you can start by becoming aware of the defensive strategy when it erupts in you and catch yourself in the moment when you’re just beginning to utilize it. Then you can Validate that it’s trying to settle your insides and you’d like to teach yourself a new way to settle your insides.

Validation: Yes we were trained to believe that controlling our insides or what’s happening outside is the only way to try to regulate our out of control feelings inside.

Notice how your body responds. You’re letting yourself see your own defensive strategies through a compassionate lens instead of should or shouldn’t lens right or wrong lens.

Simple Truth I’m putting together how our Controlling Protector has been working so hard for us to try to keep our feelings from overwhelming us inside like they used to do as a young child.

Notice how your inner body responds to such a kind and caring way of looking at yourself. You might tighten up inside or you might let go and relax inside. Notice from a curious and caring place and watch what happens to either. 

Validating Truth The truth about us is, we can regulate our feelings by Validating them as they emerge inside of us instead of trying to keep them from happening. 

Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness. We’re exploring a very different way of being with ourselves inside than what we’re used to. We’re used to using defensive strategies to try to control our feelings and other people’s feelings instead of trusting our inherent Essence voice inside to guide us, soothe us, impassion us, inspire us, and brave us. It feels strange making this transformation back to our Essence because we end up feeling so different in our bodies. On some deep knowing level though Sweet Bud, we all remember it’s who we really are. We came into being in Essence. We all remember.

I must admit I can’t wait for the next exploration about how to deepen into our authenticity by removing all the internal obstacles we have inside that keep us from feeling it. I will be here exploring with again soon my inspired and inspiring friend.